What is the Dalston Dynamo
Its exactly like the Dunwich Dynamo. Only much easier. And much shorter. Its a leisurely, friendly bicycle ride from London Fields in Hackney to the lovely nightlife of Dalston. Also in Hackney.
It’s not a race. It’s unsupported. There’s no van following (unless you count that creepy guy in the minivan who’s been stalking you). If youre still thinking about riding to Dunwich, remember its a very long way. There will be times when you wish you were tucked up in bed. Happily, that bed is a five-minute ride away, if you live in Hackney.
None whatsoever. We may make some spoke cards with the route map on. But you’d need to give us beer.
How many people ride it?
As many as we can find.We’re not above stalking people if it makes us look popular. Its the first time this epic ride has taken place, so we’re hoping for a crowd. That way we can look popular when we post it to youtube.
Where can I find out more?
Obviously there’s going to be a movie. Or at least an iPhone taped to someones handlebars. Follow us live on Twitter and Facecrack, or track us on Google Latitude.
Who does it?
So far? Its just us. But you’re welcome to join us. Just don’t get too close, okay? We’ve seen how you people ride.
How long does it take?
If you start between 8pm and 9pm, most people get to Dalston between 8pm and 9pm. Dawdling at the rest stop in the Spurstowe may delay this somewhat.
What’s it like?
Just like its responsible, career-minded cousin, the Dunwich Dynamo, it’s a friendly adventure with bike-minded people. We ride along traffic-filled roads, with riders that soon settle into bunches, or “cliques” as we call them out here. We just ride less and stop more. Dont be afraid to stop at as many bars and off licences as you need along the way, or stop for a fag or two. In fact, just stop following us, alright? Its getting kind of creepy.
The Dalston Dynamo will be on the weekend of 30 June / 1 July 2012 - brought forward to clash with that other epic night ride thats way too far for us to ever do again.
Where is Dunwich?
What? You dont know? Oh man. You are in for such a surprise. All you need to remember is that its a long way away, past Essex, and beyond Ipswich. Expect Daily Mail readers. And maybe dragons. Not the nice kind, either.
Where is the start?
The ride meets at the Pub On The Park, London Fields, Hackney.
Be sure to avoid the other ride also starting there. If you decide to follow someone, and you have not reached Dalston by midnight, then you are following the wrong people and are probably now in Essex. Turn round now.
Alternatively, if you packed your fake tan, forget Dalston altogether and continue on to the Sugar Hut. Just don’t say we didnt warn you.
How do I follow the route?
Turn your iPhone on and check the Twitter updates. Or just follow everyone else to the Spurstowe. Or just open another can of Tyskie and fuck it off altogether. You think we care if youre following? Just watch the whole thing on YouTube tomorrow.
What’s the route like?
Urban. Beware of kids, riots, drunks, buses, brakeless fixie skidders, and that girl with the iPhone in her hand stepping out in front of you. Yes. That one. Fuck. Too late. One less Hipster..
What do I need for the ride?
Lights. A lock. Beer. Money for more beer. Some people choose to bring a bike, but this is not essential.
Did we mention the Spurstowe? Hopefully we’ll make it out of there before it gets too crowded and be in Dalston in time for more beer somewhere better. Or we can just go back to London Fields and get some cans.
Will there be Food?
Eating is cheating.
What happens at the finish?
Drinking, probably. And a whole lot of self-congratulation.
How to get home?
Get drunk and trust your homing instinct? How do I know where you live? Dude, stop asking me this stuff.